A Cigarette, A Beer, And A Window
Brother's gone to Indonesia for some volunteer work shite, meaning my room's temporarily become a smoke chamber of sorts. As warped as it may sound, a cigarette at night by the window, thinking of both the random and not-so-random stuff' constitutes what people like to call a simple pleasure of life for me, although some of you might contest if slowly killing yourself qualifies as a pleasure to begin with.
Fact is, that everyone has their sinful indulgence. Some like to watch porn. Others like to make porn. I like smoking. And having a beer while I'm at it. Smoking and drinking are bad habits, but engaging in these activities do not necessarily make me a bad person. At least that's what I'll like to think.
Okay, I've strayed off the tangent a little. What I meant to say was that I enjoy having this bit of reflection, even if the catalyst's kinda suspect, amidst the mess of what commonly know as my life.
I've screwed up on so many counts in my tender 22plus years that I've lost track. Stuff like fucking around(not literally) and screwing up my studies when I was younger. Stuff like getting wasted and doing incredibly dumbass shite. Stuff like not pursuing what I want but rather what's available. I could go on and on, but who wants to read(if anyone does anyway) about some shitehead whining about his bloody sad life, right?
To quote Kerk, 'human beings are pathetic. We spend day after day complaining, whining, listening to sad songs and putting ourselves as the main sad fuck in our personal mtvs. If we actually spent this time trying to improve our lives, I'm sure it'll make a significant difference. Even if it doesn't, I'm sure you will have a much better time. '
And you know what, I've been trying. I'm working harder than I've ever did in school. I've even managed to put aside that shite of an emotion commonly known as pride. And it don't matter whether it yields anything positive or not in the end. Because I no longer feel the urge to be a fugger rather than a sugger. And it feels good.
I've tried to convince myself that whatever's transpired is a bonus. Tonight by my window, I'm finally beginning to believe it. =)
Fact is, that everyone has their sinful indulgence. Some like to watch porn. Others like to make porn. I like smoking. And having a beer while I'm at it. Smoking and drinking are bad habits, but engaging in these activities do not necessarily make me a bad person. At least that's what I'll like to think.
Okay, I've strayed off the tangent a little. What I meant to say was that I enjoy having this bit of reflection, even if the catalyst's kinda suspect, amidst the mess of what commonly know as my life.
I've screwed up on so many counts in my tender 22plus years that I've lost track. Stuff like fucking around(not literally) and screwing up my studies when I was younger. Stuff like getting wasted and doing incredibly dumbass shite. Stuff like not pursuing what I want but rather what's available. I could go on and on, but who wants to read(if anyone does anyway) about some shitehead whining about his bloody sad life, right?
To quote Kerk, 'human beings are pathetic. We spend day after day complaining, whining, listening to sad songs and putting ourselves as the main sad fuck in our personal mtvs. If we actually spent this time trying to improve our lives, I'm sure it'll make a significant difference. Even if it doesn't, I'm sure you will have a much better time. '
And you know what, I've been trying. I'm working harder than I've ever did in school. I've even managed to put aside that shite of an emotion commonly known as pride. And it don't matter whether it yields anything positive or not in the end. Because I no longer feel the urge to be a fugger rather than a sugger. And it feels good.
I've tried to convince myself that whatever's transpired is a bonus. Tonight by my window, I'm finally beginning to believe it. =)
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home