Liking
Was reading Kerk's post on crushes.
How many times have I failed to take the first step just because I was afriad that whatever I did might have ruined our friendship.
I'm infinitely irritated when somebody I don't have feelings for, buggers me. I hate the idea of having someone treating me like 'more than a friend' when the feeling's not mutual. As such, I just don't feel comfortable around that person anymore.
So since I, myself hate that feeling so much, why should I impose such a feeling on someone esle. Which is precisely why I hardly ever make the first move, or why the slightest sign of non-interest's enough to send me far, far away, never to ever attempt again. Likeing someone's wanting that person to have the very best impression of you. Somewhere along those lines, what I described above doesn't fit into the equation at all.
Such a theory hasn't saved me many friendships; I don't 'like' people very often, but it certainly has destroyed a few potential relationships, where I've been interested but quiet, only to find out months or years later that it was mutual.
People say that if you don't try, you'll never know. But how do I 'try' when all I'm convinced that this rebuilt friendship after a cold war so long will crumble if I ever attempt anything?
没有关系
你的世界
就让你拥有
不打扰是我的温柔
Remember?
Maybe I should just find someone I don't really like, don't really care about what she thinks or feels, and just go for it. Let the 2nd in command take over. That's my area of excellence anyway.
But then again. So old liao. Isn't it time to be more mature. The relationship for the sake of having a girlfriend thing's so teenager. Adult liao le wor.. Why take this retarded step backwards?
Which would explain why I'm still ZOTGGI. A good thing or not, I'm still not sure.
God bless me. =(
How many times have I failed to take the first step just because I was afriad that whatever I did might have ruined our friendship.
I'm infinitely irritated when somebody I don't have feelings for, buggers me. I hate the idea of having someone treating me like 'more than a friend' when the feeling's not mutual. As such, I just don't feel comfortable around that person anymore.
So since I, myself hate that feeling so much, why should I impose such a feeling on someone esle. Which is precisely why I hardly ever make the first move, or why the slightest sign of non-interest's enough to send me far, far away, never to ever attempt again. Likeing someone's wanting that person to have the very best impression of you. Somewhere along those lines, what I described above doesn't fit into the equation at all.
Such a theory hasn't saved me many friendships; I don't 'like' people very often, but it certainly has destroyed a few potential relationships, where I've been interested but quiet, only to find out months or years later that it was mutual.
People say that if you don't try, you'll never know. But how do I 'try' when all I'm convinced that this rebuilt friendship after a cold war so long will crumble if I ever attempt anything?
没有关系
你的世界
就让你拥有
不打扰是我的温柔
Remember?
Maybe I should just find someone I don't really like, don't really care about what she thinks or feels, and just go for it. Let the 2nd in command take over. That's my area of excellence anyway.
But then again. So old liao. Isn't it time to be more mature. The relationship for the sake of having a girlfriend thing's so teenager. Adult liao le wor.. Why take this retarded step backwards?
Which would explain why I'm still ZOTGGI. A good thing or not, I'm still not sure.
God bless me. =(
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